Why Father Christmas doesn't come to our house

My children are 7 and 5, and Father Christmas doesn't come to our house.  Neither does Santa.  Neither does St Nicholas.  Yes - they get presents.  Yes - they even get stockings.  We all do - we all give each other presents. I tell the legend of St Nicholas dropping gold coins down the chimney of a poor family and them falling in the stockings drying by the fire, and how that story, whether true or not, has led to a tradition of giving presents, and that if we are to follow in that tradition, we should give to those who have nothing at Christmas.  But Father Christmas doesn't come because we are Christians.  It's as simple as that.

Now before I go into why, let me get one thing clear: I have no judgement for those who aren't Christians who do Father Christmas.  If that's you, this isn't about you. This is about Christians - those who believe that there is one God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and that that God said that we should have no other Gods before him (Exodus 20:3), and who warns us against idolatry (putting our trust in other things) in page after page in the Bible.

  

Others are sometimes sympathetic to my view, and there's a couple of reasons I see being put forward.  They're not bad reasons, but they're not THE reason.

The first reason people sometimes put forward is this: ours is a gospel of grace.  Father Christmas promotes a works-based righteousness.  Works-based righteousness produces fear, or pride, or usually both.  Children try hard all year, and because very few parents would actually give a lump of coal, children believe that it is their good works that earn them their haul of presents.

Personally I believe this is a weak reason not to do Father Christmas.  Firstly, there's no reason why Father Christmas can't show grace.  I'm pretty sure the Father Christmas I believed in as a child was gracious and generous, my parents' true grace being reflected in pile of presents I recieved.  I don't think I ever really felt I'd earnt my presents, and neither did I fear them not coming.  We'd usually forget to write our letters to Father Christmas until quite late, but my parents always emphasised that the most important thing to write was to say thank you for last year's presents.

It's something we all need to consider in our overall gift-giving, but it's not THE reason not to do Father Christmas.

The first is this: "you shouldn't lie to your children".  To be honest, I think there might even be some non-Christians who take this one too.  For Christians this is closely followed by: "when they realise you've been lying to them, how will they believe you when you say that God loves them and will provide for them".  I get this, and it does contribute to my decision.  Also, there is a difference between glossing over some truths that children aren't ready for yet (like, I don't know, the mechanics of how babies are made, or the fact that mummy and daddy watched some TV after they went to bed and ate some chocolate) and outright lying.  We tried to lie to our son when he wanted neat squash to drink by pretending that was what we we giving him, but were called out by our daughter!

However, at the end of the day, for us, God is real.  His love is not something we want our children to just take our word for.  We want them to experience for themselves.  And we believe they can.  

It might be a good reason, but it's not THE reason.

No, the reason is this: if we encourage our children to believe in Father Christmas, we are leading them into idolatry.  Pure and simple.

To have faith in something is not just to agree with the truth of a statement.  I believe that water molecules are made from two-parts hydrogen and one-part oxygen.  However, I could tell my children that it's actually one-part hydrogen and two-parts oxygen.  I could tell them it's unicorn wee.  They still need to drink it to be healthy.  When we encourage our children to believe in Father Christmas, however, we're not just teaching them dodgy science.  We're teaching them to trust and worship him.

Putting Father Christmas aside for a minute, just think about what how we worship God during advent:

We wait in hope for the coming of Jesus.  We look around, take stock of our lives and our world.  Maybe we look to John the Baptist as he prepares the way, and we "repent, for the Kingdom of God is near" (Matthew 3:2).  We tap into that longing: "Come thou long expected Jesus".

And we pray to him.  We lay before him our hopes, our fears and our requests.  Prayer is so much more than a shopping list of requests, but just because it's more than that, it doesn't mean it isn't also that.  We do lay our requests before God - the things we long for.

We look for the signs.  We remember those who waiting for Jesus' first coming - the prophets of old.  We think of the wise men - seeing that star in the sky and following it.  We look for the signs of God's kingdom coming here - we pray into those things.  We rejoice when we see the signs.

And on Christmas Day we remember that he came!  God himself came down and walked among us.  Maybe we could even whisper to each other in excited voices as we see the evidence before us: "he's been!"

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16).  God gave himself.  We waited.  We wait.  We trust.  We worship.

Now let me tell you what lots of children are doing.

They have hopes.  My son hopes for yet more Paw Patrol toys.  "Maybe Father Christmas will bring it", we tell them.  How?  He's magic.  He has power beyond all others that enables him to deliver toys to all the children in the world in just 24 hours.

And so the hope grows.  And maybe they write a letter.  Maybe they pray.

And maybe there's other stuff going on in their lives: school bullies, mum and dad facing financial issues, grandma is ill.  But Father Christmas is powerful enough to deliver all those presents - maybe he can make those other issues better too.  They pray.

And throughout advent they wait in eager expectation.  Maybe they take stock of their lives a bit.  Maybe, even though they know that Father Christmas is gracious, they think about how they can alter their behaviour a bit.

On Christmas eve the lie awake, ears straining, listening.  Is that sleigh bells?

In the morning, maybe there's even a footprint in the ash in the fire (like my granny used to do), or a little bit of fluff that's fallen off his hat (like my grandma used to leave for her children).  The mince pies and carrot have been eaten.  And there's a pile of presents.

"He's been".

It's not just a mistaken statement of scientific fact.  It's the consolation of all their hopes and dreams.  It's worship.

Children engage in pretend play.  It's right and healthy.  Doing Father Christmas involves an element of pretend play and I have no issue with pretend play.  Most bath times my husband has to become a dragon because of a game I started to make bath time more fun.  But Father Christmas is not just pretend play.  It's worship.

And the fact that by age 10 they probably won't worship him anymore is irrelevant.  We chose to baptise our children as babies.  Not all do and I respect that view entirely.  But regardless, we don't believe faith is just for grown-ups.  

Read the words of Jesus:

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”  And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.  (Matthew 18:1-6, emphasis mine)

Please, please, please can we stop leading our children to worship another.

"But we know he's not real!" you say.   Well Paul and many of the Corinthian Christians knew that idols weren't real.  And yet Paul still said they should never cause a stumbling block for others (1 Corinthians 8).

I'll say it again:  Please, please, please can we stop leading our children to worship another.

I give my children presents.  They also look to me to provide for them and protect them and comfort them.  But as they grow they also learn that I am not perfect.  I lose my temper.  I also cannot protect them from all the bumps of life.  But what they will learn is that God is a far better parent than I am.  In my best parenting moments I can reflect him ever so slightly, and in my worst parenting moments I hope that they will see that when stuff goes wrong I run to my heavenly Father. 

My children are not the 'church of tomorrow'.  They are the church of today.  They are loved enormously by God and the thing I want the most is for them to know that love - to gaze on that love and for it to change them.  And I'm teaching them that now, not just when they're teenagers.

And Christmas is magical, because of the manger 2000 years ago, and the empty tomb 33 years later. 

HE's been.